so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
