i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
nutella sex= disaster
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
