Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
