You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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