Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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