The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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