420 ftw
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
