my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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