Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
