Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
