i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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