Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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