I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
