I cockslap morals
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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