Pappa wants mamma naked
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
