I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
