He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
