Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
