i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
