This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
