laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
