I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
