is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
