My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
