I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
