If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
