You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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