the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
