my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
