she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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