Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
