"it" just moved
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
