I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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