I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
