i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
