Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
