Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
