I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
