All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
There's always time for handjobs
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
