We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize