he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
