I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
