tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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