I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
