God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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