do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
