just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
