Just mADE A PArabola og urine
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
