Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
