guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
